Make Old Tech New Again

A recent posting on Ecosophia which was part of a series on the topic of American occultism, covered the subject of a grand old American tradition: the fine art of tinkering. In this case the kind of tinkering done by people often kindly referred to as ‘cranks’.

Mad Scientist

While Mr. Greer’s posting was occult oriented, he pointed out that while the majority of people regarded by those about them as ‘cranks’ often were out in left field in terms of what they were working on, not all were failures. One of the most notable inventions of the 20th century came out of a home bicycle shop run by a pair of tinkering brothers named Wilbur and Orville Wright who created the first successful powered flying machine large enough for a man to pilot. While another tinkerer Samuel Langley created a successful small unmanned steam powered aerodrome, the design did not scale up well and manned test flights of his design failed miserably.

Tinkering has long held a special place in American history, associated with do-it-yourselfers, inventors and the occasional mad scientist. While some dictionaries define tinkering as an attempt to improve something in a casual or desultory way, that is not the reputation it has had in American culture. For us, tinkering is a way to improve or invent. It can be a way to allow the tinkerer to become familiar with his or her material in such a way that innovation becomes more likely. And it still continues to hold a place dear in our hearts. What’s the first thing you do when something in your possession is no longer working right? If you’re like me, you go straight to YouTube looking for how-to videos.

Do It Yourselfer

Reading the comment section of Mr. Greer’s posting shows that tinkering is still alive and well. Commenters put up dozens of links to documents, some off-the-wall and but others profoundly useful. People don’t just love to tinker, they seem to have a deep seated yearning to tinker, something probably connected to our having opposable thumbs, as old as our urge to hunt, garden and gather. It’s not enough just to download a new ‘app’ on your I-phone anymore. People actually want to do things with their hands and express their creativity. There’s a feeling of self-mastery which comes when you do it yourself, something you don’t get when a machine does it all for you.

Long before everything went high-tech, there was no end to the gizmos cooked up to accomplish any task you could think of. The LowTech Magazine website is filled with articles describing various low tech ways of doing tasks which anyone with a little mechanical skill could achieve.

Who was the innovator who came up with this little beauty? A hot-water radiator with a built-in warming oven for keeping food hot until you are ready to bring it to the table? Talk about killing two birds with one stone!

Hot water radiator with built-in warming oven

While toilets are not really a new invention, the gradual adoption of the water closet and the indoor plumbing which went with it in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries did much to end the cholera, dysentery and other water-borne diseases which shorted the lives of many people of those times. Not exactly high-tech but then it didn’t need to be. You just needed a good knowledge of valves, woodworking and how water flowed.

Water Closet

Tinkering is not enough, of course. In order for your tinkering to have results, you have to be a keen observer of your surroundings and spot an opportunity.

brick fruit wall

Noting that stone and brick walls would hold and release heat even after the sun went down, led to the creation of fruit walls. This innovation allowed for the cultivation of fruit trees far north of their usual range, taking advantage of the micro-climates the fruit walls created. The curving design of the above walls increased their stability and made small niches that fruit trees could be tucked into and trained to grow up on.

Tinkering is a non-stop process which requires great perseverance and a high tolerance for failure. Not everything you tinker on will pan out as hoped. Thomas Edison, a famous inventor from the late nineteen hundreds into the twentieth century, once remarked that he never failed, he just found 10,000 things that didn’t work. In the case of the incandescent bulb he was working on, he went through thousands of fiber types before he found a carbonized cotton filament that succeeded in giving the steady light he was searching for. In our instant gratification culture multiple failures may be hard to swallow but it’s essential if you want to reach that moment of success.

All too often these days, tinkering takes the form of pre-packaged kits with directions to be slavishly followed and creativity taking a back seat. We need to get away from this. With climate change, resource depletion and a host of other issues threatening us, genuine human creativity will need to come back front and center. It’s gotten us through quite a few bumpy spots and can do so again but the sooner we start, the better.

Extreme tinkering, Frankenstein

Revisiting Latin

Deeds not words

A large number of non-fiction books occupy my shelves. Many are quite scholarly and more than a few of them are sprinkled with Latin quotations. Many authors are thoughtful enough to provide translations (usually at the bottom of the page as a footnote). However some make the assumption that if you are scholarly enough to read their book then you must certainly be fluent in Latin and so don’t bother with helping the poor reader out. Since my formal Latin training has been confined to what was covered in high school Latin umpteen years ago and now long forgotten, I have often been left scratching my head.

Granted a surprising number of English words are derived from Latin, it is dimly possible to get a sense of the gist of what the quotation means. For example, nauta is Latin for sailor, hence our modern word of nautical. Circum means around and has found its way into circumference, circle, etc. But other words are more ambiguous. The word Acta in the above quote can mean several things. It can be a noun meaning seashore. But depending on how it is conjugated, it can also be a verb meaning ‘to act‘ or ‘to drive’. The precise meaning of the above phrase is ‘Deeds, not words’. If you have no idea how many different ways Latin words can be parsed, you might inadvertantly read the above as ‘Acting is not talking,’ or ‘the seashore doesn’t talk’. Yipes!

This just won’t do, of course. So rather than curse the darkness (so to speak), I’ve decided to light a candle and relearn Latin. With many English words derived from Latin, acquiring a basic vocabulary isn’t too difficult. The real challenge is grappling with all those conjugations and declensions. The late British Prime Minister, Winston Churchill, described in his autobiography My Early Life his introduction to Latin at the boarding school he got incarcerated – ahem – enrolled in. It’s obvious from the dialogue that the Headmaster was a sadist who had no interest in teaching children, only in collecting the money the parents of the unfortunate child paid for the poor little sod’s education.

So what are conjugations and declensions? Declension, to put it as simply as possible involves changing the ending of a noun as a way of indicating its position in a sentence. For example (in Winston’s case), the sentence, ‘the table is in the room’, has table as the subject (referred to as the nominative) so it would be mensa. If the sentence is ‘I have a table’, then the word table is now the direct object (or accusative) and would be mensam. In ‘The room has a chair with a table’, table is now an indirect object (dative) so would be mensae, if it’s ablative, it would be mensa often spelled with a little line over the letter ‘a’, called a macron, to help distinguish it from the nominative singular. The sentence, ‘The table’s color is red’, has table as the genitive, meaning possession, so it would be mensae. The Mensa or ‘O table’ young Winston was baffled by is known as the vocative, which is what you use when greeting someone. To give you an idea of how complex declensions can be, be aware there are five declensions in Latin, based on whether a word is feminine, masculine, neuter, and so forth.

Conjugations follow the same pattern only with verbs. There are four conjugations, all dependent on person, gender, tense, mood as well as other factors. The verb endings tell where the verb falls in the sentence, whether it’s plural or singular and so on. No wonder poor little Winston was so confused! Having only covered the first two declensions myself, I can already appreciate the frustration countless schoolchildren before me have experienced. Context is everything and you must always pay close attention to a word’s position in a sentence as well as what the sentences around it say to give you an idea of the word’s correct meaning. To help in my memorization I have written down the declensions and conjugations on large size index cards for quick reference as I go along.

Roman Senate

Then there’s the matter of pronunciation. There are two ways of speaking Latin. One is called the Classical way, meaning the way we think Latin was spoken by its natives at the height of the Roman Empire. This was introduced by 19th century scholars, after their research seemed to indicate this is how it was pronounced by the original Romans. Since nobody has Mr. Peabody’s Wayback Machine, there’s no way to go back in time to verify this so it’s really an assumption rather than an established fact.

Catholic Mass

Then there is what is called the Ecclesiastical way, meaning as it was spoken in the fading years of the Roman Empire going forward into modern times in the Catholic Church. The differences between the two are relatively minor. In Classical Latin the letter ‘c’ is given a hard sound, as in catch while in Ecclesiastical Latin, it’s often given a soft sound (circle) or a ‘ch’ pronunciation. The letter ‘v’ in Classical is given a ‘w’ sound while it’s spoken the modern way in Ecclesiastical.

There seems to be a fuss going on about the merits of either system which is strange if you think about it. After all, this is a language nobody but scholars and Catholic clergy speak anymore. To me it’s all a tempest in a teapot. My goal in learning Latin is to just be able to read it. How it’s pronounced is a minor matter to me. I am using two self-education books, Getting Started With Latin and Keep Going with Latin by William Linney. His preference is for the Classical pronunciation so I’m following his lead. Someone online was thoughtful enough to scan the Oxford Latin Course :Part 1 (second edition) into PDF format which I have downloaded. They also seem to favor the Classical pronunciation. Wheelock’s Latin (7th edition) which I purchased secondhand from Thriftbooks also uses the Classical while a discarded high school first year Latin book (which looks like the one used in my high school class) which I found up at the local recycling station also seemed inclined to Classical though in a desultory sort of way. If your preference is for the Ecclesiastical that is fine. I doubt the Latin Pronunciation Police are going to come down on either one of us.

So if you are chafing from boredom under the Lockdown, you could do worse than to introduce or reintroduce yourself to Latin. Unlike poor Winston you won’t need to fear a thrashing from your Headmaster. You can take your time, review and practice to your heart’s content without worrying about a semester deadline. And best of all – NO FINAL EXAMS OR TERM PAPERS!

Valentine's Day Heart

Hail Columbia

Uncle Sam wants you poster

We’re all familiar with Uncle Sam, the iconic military recruiter, who glowers at the viewer inducing him (or her) to sign up or be considered an unpatriotic wimp. But not many people seem to realize he has a female counterpart named Columbia.

Columbia Calls

Uncle Sam came into being around the time of the War of 1812 while Columbia originated about a century earlier. It was not unusual back in the day to have female personifications of various nations; Britannia for England, Marianne for France, Germania for Germany. Her evolution was a complex one and various images of her often are eerily reminiscent of the current super-hero Wonder Woman. A cartoon by Thomas Nast shows her sitting at the opposite end of the table from Uncle Sam. Note the starred epaulets and the Wonder Woman-like tiara.

Uncle Sam's Thanksgiving

Or this one. Definitely not a lady to argue with!

US Bonds Columbia

One wonders if William Marston had this image in mind when he created the iconic super-hero Wonder Woman.

Now comes the question. What happened to Columbia? Why don’t we hear about her anymore? She was a frequent figure seen in World War One propaganda posters, boosting victory gardens,

Victory Garden

or blood donations.

Columbia boosting Red Cross drive

Or even just advertising the latest gimmick for the kitchen.

Uncle Sam in the kitchen

One likely reason is that she began being seen by people as an antiquated figure, no longer relevant to the views American people had of themselves. By the time World War Two rolled around, it was largely macho Uncle Sam rolling up his sleeves to give the Nazis a pounding. The newer image of Lady Liberty pushed aside the older image of Columbia. About all she seemed to do is hold her torch high and look noble.

Given that Columbia and Uncle Sam were sometimes portrayed as a couple, my own secret personal theory is that they had a falling-out, probably over that floozy from England he was occasionally seen traipsing around with.

Uncle Sam with Britainnia

I’m sure she didn’t think much of that! Can you imagine what the neighbors were saying? So, no surprise, there was an unpleasant break-up and Columbia departed the public eye for the most part.

Now, in light of recent events, it is high time she made a reappearance. I think the depiction of Liberty, best known as the Statue of Liberty, actually fits in very well with the idea of Columbia as a symbol not just of Liberty but the ideals of equality, respect, justice and plain old-fashioned common sense. While all the partisan bickering and hysterical rhetoric has occupied people’s attention, this figure has stood quiet and unnoticed in the background. A number of state capitol buildings have a variety of Liberty-like figures on or near them.

Liberty image on Capitol

There’s a statue of the Liberty figure atop the Capitol Building in Washington itself as shown above.

There’s no reason why this figure can’t be merged back with the symbol of Columbia. All the illustrations of Columbia show a wide variety of aspects. She wears many hats and can adjust as the circumstances call for. How many people have noticed that the Statue of Liberty in New York is lifting her right foot after taking a step forward? She’s not just standing there immobile. She’s in motion. Or that there are broken shackles at her feet, representing the banning of slavery? Given how times have changed, the solitary, static form of Uncle Sam is no longer enough. If anything, it’s throwing things out of balance.

It’s important to remember that Uncle Sam represents the government while Columbia represents the nation itself. We’ve lost half of the equation showing who we are by not having Columbia up and front with Uncle Sam. What good is it to ‘make America great again’ if you don’t include honor, integrity and respect? Have Columbia symbolize not just Liberty but arbitration and reconcilation. Have her serve as a means to quell the volcanic, spittal spraying ranting by both sides of the aisle and get them actually talking again.

Columbia, Spirit of Liberty

Let this be the face we look for while we pull ourselves back together again.

Santa and company

One figure who shows up on a regular basis every Christmas holiday season is of course Santa Claus.

This jolly rotund character with his bag of goodies is much beloved by small children but also detested by others, and not by just financially challenged parents.

Santa as we know him today took his latest iteration back in the latter half of the nineteenth century, Thomas Nast drew several images of Santa helping out the Union cause as a morale booster. His rendition of the old figure of Saint Nicholas was quickly seized upon by businesses booming from the Industrial Revolution, eager to sell their mass produced wares to a growing middle class which could afford them. Santa Claus as gift bringer was seemingly tailor made just for them. They’ve been running with it ever since.

But Santa Claus is based on a much older figure.

He went by a variety of different names: Kris Kringle, Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, depending on which country you look at. He was usually dressed in long green or red robes (though the picture above shows him in white) and in some countries was dressed as a bishop with miter and staff. He personified the spirit of Christmas with peace, revelry, good food and yes, gift giving though not to the demented level we see now.

The actual Saint Nicholas was a Greek Christian bishop of the 4th century, noted for his generosity to the poor. He was so highly venerated legends quickly attached to him after his death and his remains drew enough pilgrims so that during the Middle Ages rapacious Italian merchants filched his remains and built their own church in Bari Italy for housing them. The mania during that time for relics of any kind led to poor Saint Nicholas undergoing the indignity of having his bones divided up between several churches each determined to have a piece of the guy. His legend rapidly expanded, becoming very popular throughout Europe. In each country his stories were blended with fragments of older pagan beliefs and resulted in some peculiar iterations of the venerable Christian saint.

In parts of Europe, particularly Germany, Saint Nick would make visits distributing good cheer and small gifts. But he didn’t come alone. Accompanying him was a very sinister looking figure known as Krampus.

Krampus is the antithesis of Saint Nicholas. His focus is on naughty children. Nowadays youngsters are told if they are bad, they will either not get any presents or be gifted a nasty lump of coal. That’s actually a pretty wimpy threat. Krampus goes way further than that. If you were a naughty child, you could expect a visit from Krampus who would grab you, stuff you into his sack and haul you off to a ghastly fate, never to be seen again. Parents were evidently okay with their kids being traumatized with fear if it meant they would behave.

The Krampus figure can be found in various forms around Europe usually in association with mid-winter festivals clustered around the solstice. He usually follows Saint Nicholas about as he makes his rounds, though on occasion he appears on his own. Santa rewards the good little children while Krampus disposes of the bad ones. Krampus is often portrayed looking like a demon with horns, leering face and definitely bad teeth, as befits his role.

Perchten are sometimes very similar and are thought to be derived from the worship of Frau Perchta, a witch-like goddess, again making an appearance during the dark months of the year. They’re not usually associated with Santa Claus, having their own celebrations. Rather than being totally sinister like Krampus, these beings seem instead to be divided between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ perchten, perhaps representing the conflict between the light and dark portions of the year. Performers dressing up as perchtan wore a wild variety of costumes ranging from fantastically enormous headdresses to the more familiar masked demons.

In recent years there has been a surge of interest in both Krampus and Perchten, with the two often being confused because of their similarities. Clearly any attempts made by religious authorities, both Catholic and Protestant, to suppress any pagan remnants in European culture over the centuries were in vain as their modern manifestations are showing up alive and well, more and more in different celebrations attracting both tourists and locals. I can’t see the Covid epidemic suppressing this for very long. Along with the novelty of it all, there seems to be a hunger to turn away from empty consumerism and towards the revival of old pathways encapsulating both the brightness and the darkness of the season. Does this mean a decline any time soon in the mad, glitzy consumerism afflicting our times and a return to a simpler and more spiritual form of Santa and his companions embodying the Christmas season? Hard to say but I think once the worst is past, Krampus and his kin will likely resume trailing Saint Nicholas on his rounds for some time to come.

Perchten marching on the solstice
You better be good or these guys will getcha

What are gods?

While researching online for various divinities and ageless beings for populating the book I am writing, I have on occasion come across a peculiar delusion infesting odd corners here and there. Namely that ancient gods were actually aliens from other worlds. Never mind the fact that the stupendous distance between stars makes such voyages if not impossible at least very improbable, the idea that the beings our ancestors worshiped were material entities much like ourselves only more ‘advanced’ is a bit blasphemous. At the very least it’s ridiculous.

This probably all got its start in the mid-twentieth century when the old view of ancient gods being either demons or just non-existent had largely faded away. With the advent of high tech and clearer views of what lay beyond the earth, an idea of divinities being more concrete in origin began to surface. The original Star Trek series had an episode where the crew of the Enterprise encountered a being who called himself Apollo demanding that they worship him.

It turned out this being was in fact an alien with sophisticated technology which the intrepid Captain Kirk and his merry band of officers managed to overcome. Subsequent iterations of Star Trek had the same trope, with Deep Space Nine showing the gods that the Bajorians worshiped as actually being aliens living inside a wormhole.

A series of pot boiler books over the years has added fuel to the addled fire starting with Eric Von Daniken’s Chariots of the Gods then Zecharia Sitchin’s The Twelfth Planet and more recently with Graham Hancock’s works (which sound like thinly disguised rip-offs of Eric’s earlier writings). For some reason the pantheon of gods from old Mesopotamia, the Annunaki, have been singled out with a fair amount of rubbish written about them. Reading reviews of the above books gives me the strange feeling people don’t really know what a god is anymore.

Well, needless to say, this all just begs to get skewered. Since the god Marduk is one of the characters in The Age of Dionysus, I decided to write my own send-up of all this. The following scene opens with two characters, Zeke and Brian, both small time crooks, who re-encounter each other in a cafeteria run by Maenads as the Maenads have taken over part of Manhattan. Brian tries to explain to Zeke about Dionysus and the other gods and is met with a certain initial skepticism. Until…..

………………………………………………………………………….

As Zeke spoke, Brian could feel a faint vibration, as of heavy footsteps. Ripples began appearing in the coffee Zeke had set on the table. Zeke looked around baffled.

“Huh? Is that a pile driver or something?”

“Nope. It’s Marduk. He kowtows to Dionysus but He struts around like He’s the one in charge. Here He comes…”

Marduk barely fit through the doorway leading to the rear of the building even though it was big enough to drive a pick-up through. His head brushed the top of the door jamb. At least He had gotten rid of that stove-pipe shaped hat He had when Brian first saw Him. But He still wore the shawl-like robe, golden belt and sandals, apparently refusing to update His wardrobe. Brian could see Zeke out of the corner of his eye, his jaw nearly hitting the table. The skinny man gripped the table edge in white knuckled shock, his eyes bulging.

“Sweet baby Jesus.” whispered Zeke.

“Oh-oh.” said Brian stiffening. “Here comes trouble. He must have gotten past the Maenads at the door. See that fat little guy with the goatee?”

“Yeah, that’s the weirdo who handed me some dopey flier about a space alien conspiracy.” said Zeke. “I just threw it in the trash. I take it he’s not supposed to get in?”

“Yeah, but it’s too late now to stop him. He’s zeroing in on Marduk.”

The intruder, dressed in a blue serge suit just barely fitting him, clutched several books crammed with loose papers. Before anyone could stop him, he positioned himself directly in front of Marduk, Who halted and scowled at this impertinent mortal.

“Great Annunaki of the world of Shibru, it’s very important I discuss something with you.”

“Eh? What are you blathering about? What is Shibru?”

“Why – why the planet you come from.” replied the man, looking a little nonplussed.

“I come from here, you ignorant lump of mud.” growled Marduk.

“Oh, well, I mean I’m sure you were born here but your ancestors came from the planet Shibru.”

“Someone has put termites in your brain.” Marduk replied straightening until His head nearly brushed one of the ceiling fixtures. “I am a child of Mother Earth, just as you, unfortunately, are. My Mother is a water goddess and My Father Enki, Lord of the Waters. You are fortunate He has Transcended or He would be stamping you into the earth for mouthing such nonsense.”

“But – but – “ The man clearly had some sort of conspiracy script running in his head and Marduk wasn’t following it. Taking a deep breath, he tried again, pointing at the books he held. “Well, I understand that you Annunaki genetically engineered my ancestors to dig gold for you – “

“I do not know or care what you are talking about.” boomed Marduk, His voice making the walls vibrate. “You humans mine gold for yourselves because you think it’s valuable. Why should I care about or want it?” Suddenly He reached out and snatched the books from the man and began thumbing through them, loose papers falling to the floor as He turned pages. Apparently Marduk could read English because His face grew dark as a thundercloud.

“What is this madness? My brethren coming half a million years ago? Why We were all born after the glaciers melted, not before. And why would We need slaves?” Marduk threw the books on the floor and with a slight gesture materialized a huge club. It looked like it had been carved from a tree trunk and was topped with a soccer ball sized metal sphere bristling with spikes. He brandished it menacingly while pointing at the books. “Did you write this?”

“Oh – oh no, no!” stammered the man, his face ashen, finally grasping he was in danger. “It – it was written by a Mr Von Kovski. He – he said your people came in spaceships and – and built the pyramids -”

Marduk burst out laughing.

“The Egyptians themselves built the pyramids. We gods have no need for such structures and even if We did, We would not need slaves or anyone at all to build them. You humans are the ones who made them. Do you really think so little of yourselves that you believe you lack the wit or strength to make such things? If I ever meet this Mr. Von Kovski, I will crush his skull for uttering such blasphemies. Now away with you!” Marduk swept His massive hand, knocking the unfortunate man into some tables near Brian and Zeke, where he lay groaning. Marduk resumed walking and went out into the street, the outer door He passed through already looking as if He had been through it several times.

“Well, that ended a little better than I thought it would.” Said Brian, getting up to check on the man. The room had been dead silent during the exchange but now some of the Maenads began laughing in relief. One of them, a woman name Diane came over beside Brian.

“Somebody get a stretcher.” She called over her shoulder. “We probably better have Doctor Harris check this idiot out. I’m surprised Marduk didn’t kill him like He did that preacher.”

“Marduk must be in a good mood today. For Him that is.” replied Brian. He went back to sit down while the Maenads located a stretcher. Loading the dazed conspiracy theorist onto it, they hauled him off. The books and loose papers were swept up and tossed in a trash can. Zeke shook his head.

“Now I’ve seen everything. But what was that about a preacher?”

“Some bible-thumping fundie minister showed up a couple days ago. Apparently he thought all these gods are really demons so he was all set to do a rite of exorcism. Unfortunately he tried it on Marduk who just bashed him with that big club He’s got. That was the end of him.”

“I bet.” said Zeke. “Kind of an Old Testament type of god, huh?”

“Yeah, smite first and ask questions later.”

“Isn’t that Von Kovski guy dead now?” queried Zeke.

“Yeah, lucky him.” replied Brian, polishing off his coffee.